


doesn't smell like you

by onceuponahyuk



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied mentions of Enlisting, M/M, Mutual Pining?, Non-Sexual, Unrequited Love?, can be read as a romance, honestly up to you to interpret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 23:56:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16775509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponahyuk/pseuds/onceuponahyuk
Summary: hakyeon has a new place to call home and sanghyuk finds it hard to accept





	doesn't smell like you

**Author's Note:**

> so with the news of hakyeon's new place being all over the place, i was suddenly inspired to write this little thing
> 
> as the tags imply, it can go any which way and be read in whatever way you see fit to interpret 
> 
> let me know how you read their relationship!

Sanghyuk stepped through the threshold of the new building that held not nearly enough furniture and too many boxes and no recognition of belonging to his hyung or being a _home_ yet, but maybe that was just him cynically trying to find something wrong with the place now that it was a place the elder would live. It was likely that, he knew.

“What do you think?” The bright voice, too full of happiness that it made Sanghyuk be grateful that he had his back to the other man because he was sure a grimace appeared on his expression. How could it not? “I know I have a lot of unpacking to do and the living room set still has to be delivered, but the kitchen and the bedroom are almost done…”

Sanghyuk just barely moved out of the way to refuse the touch that had drifted across his forearm in search of his hand. He stepped forward to look around at the extravagant home that was not his own. It would be known as Hakyeon’s alone from that point on and it didn’t sit well in his stomach, stirring up a discontentment that he couldn’t yet put into words.

“It’s a two bedroom and I haven’t decided what to do with the second bedroom, but come look at the master!” Hakyeon brushed past Sanghyuk, letting their arms brush just against one another and he thankfully didn’t try reaching for Sanghyuk’s hand again. As pushy and affectionate as Hakyeon could be, he at least knew when not to push Sanghyuk to _that_ point. The maknae watched Hakyeon’s back for a few moments before it disappeared into one of the open doorways and he knew that he could only linger for so much longer.

Walking into the bedroom, Sanghyuk took in the large four poster bed that was made immaculately, the bedside tables that were adorned with a complimenting variety of candles and flowers and pictures — pictures of them, of the six of them, his family, memories that surely would never wished to be forgotten — and he looked at the artwork on the walls, tasteful in a way that defined Hakyeon all too clearly. The colors were darker, not gloomy or dim, but a shade that made the tone of the room… calm? Sanghyuk hated to admit that, because he didn’t want to admit that any other place but the room back at the dorm could represent his hyung so clearly like that. The set up was similar to what he had at the dorm, except for the large bay window that overlooked the city and the nook that accompanied it, books already laid out across it. When did Hakyeon ever have time to read? Sanghyuk didn’t want to admit he saw his manuscript folded and marked along the cushions of it.

“What do you think?” The repeated question was no more easier to hear than the first time. Sanghyuk swallowed thickly and turned to look at Hakyeon, the smile on his face a bit apprehensive, but the look in his eyes so hopeful. As much as Sanghyuk hated this, he could not bear to hurt the man he loved so much.

“It’ll be nice for you...y’know, to have privacy... _real_ privacy like none of us have had in years…” It sounded bitter coming from him even though he had tried to show _some_ excitement for his hyung. He hated the way that his words erased the smile from Hakyeon’s in such a way that definitely made guilt swell within him. It was a stark thing to see even as it was gradual enough that Hakyeon caught it before it fell entirely. He turned to hide his face, or maybe to look away from Sanghyuk — either way, the maknae wouldn’t blame him.

“I think the second bedroom should be a guest room.” Hakyeon nodded his head, mostly to himself. Sanghyuk’s head tipped to the side to observe the man’s back and he had to slip his hands into his pocket to avoid reaching out for him and to hide the fact that his palms had grown sweaty. “It’s big enough that I could get a good sized bed, so if anyone wanted to stay the night, they’re not stuck out on the couch. Let me show you the bathroom, Hyogi. I think you’ll be jealous.”

Sanghyuk didn’t move this time as he walked forward to open the door to the en suite bathroom. Immediately, even from where he stood, Sanghyuk could tell that it was large and as ornate as someone like Hakyeon would want it to be. He was sure that was a selling point when Hakyeon had apparently gone out to look at places. Sanghyuk hadn’t taken it seriously, didn’t think that any of them would _really_ part from one another in such a...permanent way. But he had stood in Hakyeon’s room back at the dorm, the walls empty and only a couple of boxes remaining after his move. It had happened and was official now.

This time, Hakyeon didn’t ask him what he thought as he looked to the maknae when he turned around and Sanghyuk hadn’t come any closer. Sanghyuk didn’t plan on moving closer. Instead, he felt that he should turn and hightail it out of there, just leave and continue to live in denial that Hakyeon had _left_ them, left _him_.

There was another smile on Hakyeon’s face, but it was one of understanding and sadness. It was one that caused Sanghyuk to look away, unable to face such a thing when it was clear enough what he was feeling and thinking. The fact that Hakyeon could read it all wasn’t surprising, but it was enough to irritate Sanghyuk enough to finally turn to leave.

It was without a word that he turned on his socked heel to leave the room. He didn’t make it far before both of Hakyeon’s hands were clasping around one of his to hold him hostage. It only caused the thing in his throat to swell more and his heart to plummet into his stomach as the reality of it all was sinking into him further. It wasn’t possible to deny it any longer. This _hurt_ him.

“Hyogi…” Hakyeon’s voice was too soft for Sanghyuk’s ears and it felt like they were being grated on. It was enough for him to to try and pull his hand away even as the grip tightened. “Sanghyuk, stop...talk to me, please…what is wrong?”

“What’s wrong—?” Sanghyuk scoffed out before he could help it and he immediately regretted his decision. His eyes closed tightly as he tried to keep the tears from falling past his lashes. It was such a tedious effort that he ended up looking to the banner that hung above the door frame, one from a concert of theirs that _of course_ Hakyeon had saved to bring with him to his new _home_. “Nothing.” He choked out, knowing that the emotion was clear enough that denying it was useless, but he was stubborn. “Nothing is wrong, hyung.”

The hands tightened around his. “No, something is wrong. What is it? Do you not like it? Do the colors not match? Does it smell weird? What?” The questions were stupid enough that at any other time, Sanghyuk would have been coaxed into a smile. This time, though, he felt angry that he would even be patronized in such a way. He is tugged enough that he took a half step back to turn just enough that he could see the hopeful look on Hakyeon’s expression. He can tell that the man just wanted an explanation for his mood when it was clear he had been hoping for excitement at his new place, his new _home_. 

“It does smell weird.” It didn’t smell like Hakyeon yet and that was probably Sanghyuk’s main complaint — other than the fact that this was to be his own place from now on. It was a place that Sanghyuk didn’t have a spot in, a place to curl up in when he was feeling tired, overworked, drained from trying to be the best that he could be. How was he supposed to rely on a leader who wasn’t even present?

“It doesn’t smell like me, I know.” Of course Hakyeon knew that and the smile on his face, as understanding as it was, made Sanghyuk want to turn and run. “Hyuk...I know you’re not happy, but...but I am.”

“You’re happy to be away from us?” The words slipped from Sanghyuk’s mouth before he could even think not to say them out loud. He winced at his own harsh tone and noticed that Hakyeon’s understanding smile didn’t waver this time.

“I’m not away from you.”

“You are.” A petulant tone that would belie the growth and maturity he had accumulated over the years took over and it brought a chuckle in addition to the understanding expression. “Don’t laugh at me, hyung.” He used the opportunity to draw his hand quickly away from Hakyeon’s and yet couldn’t bring himself to leave the room. “What do you even want your own place for anyways? What was so wrong about living with us?”

“Sanghyuk,” He stepped closer and once again took Sanghyuk’s hand. “There was nothing wrong living with you. But you know how much I wanted my own place. I told you I was doing this weeks ago… months, even.”

Sanghyuk didn’t want to accept it and yet he wasn’t pulling his hand away. He couldn’t help how the ache in his chest felt so amplified now. He had been in denial for the time that Hakyeon had been searching for a new home, and he had refused to really give credit when he’d been moving his things out of the dorm. Now that he was faced with the reality, staring it right in the face, he knew that he no longer had that privilege of denial. Hakyeon wasn’t going to let him deny it any longer.

“Why did you bring me here alone?” He asked quietly, his voice quiet.

“Because I know you’re having a hard time accepting this...and I thought that maybe if it were just us, I could help you…”

Sanghyuk wanted to shake his head childishly and hide from the truth of it all. He’d been stuck with his hyungs for so many years now, loved on by Hakyeon even when he didn’t want to be, cared for, and practically raised by all the men he lived with. To have one no longer with them? No longer there in the morning to get them all up and out of the dorm to their respective schedules even if they weren’t together for the day…

“You’re old enough now...to be without me, Sanghyuk.”

The statement stabbed him deep in the gut. It caused him to choke out another breath, attempting to scoff or deny such a claim (because he had never _needed_ Hakyeon, but it wasn’t the truth.) He knew that he couldn’t properly deny it and he wasn’t shying away from the touch to his cheek that guided his head down, forcing him to meet the other’s eyes even if he would rather not. 

“But...that doesn’t mean you have to be.” Hakyeon spoke gently, almost like he were trying to coax Sanghyuk out of the shell that he often hid within. It was so much easier for him to do that than try to express the emotions that could become so cramped within him.

Confusion filled the maknae. “What...what do you mean? You moved out!”

Hakyeon’s long fingers brushed along Sanghyuk’s cheekbone and the younger wanted to immediately turn from them, but found that he was instead leaning into them longingly. He knew that his words were abrupt and his tone harsh, but it was nothing compared to the ache that had settled within him.

“But that doesn’t mean you have to be away from me...you can be here, as much as you want.” Hakyeon spoke still in that tender way that was meant to make Sanghyuk feel better and he wasn’t sure that it did. “You know I always sleep better when you’re with me…”

The admission caused a flush to appear over Sanghyuk’s cheeks. He couldn’t deny it nor would he hide how it did help to ease his fears and nerves. He hadn’t realized how worked up he was becoming until Hakyeon’s words washed over him.

“See? I knew you felt the same way. Come on, Hyogi...it’s be okay.”

It was clear that Sanghyuk still felt the need to refuse or deny, but there was nothing more for him to deny. This was how things would be and even though he now knew that he was welcome as often as he wanted, it still wasn’t going to be the same.

“Things are going to be different, aren’t they, hyung?” Sanghyuk spoke even as he was led to the bed without any more resistance. He didn’t want to resist any more; it was too tiring.

The elder smiled softly, almost a hint of sadness to it, when he nodded his head and while it didn’t break Sanghyuk’s heart like he had feared, it did make something uncomfortable settle in his chest. He knew as well as Hakyeon did that things would be changing drastically in the next few months. They just wouldn’t talk about it.

“Yeah, Hyogi...yeah, things are going to be different.”


End file.
